Stolen shamelessly from [link]

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
A: Joseph needs surgery after nightclub fight(\o/)

Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
A: Joseph looks like a monster child(Hah)

Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
A: Joseph says he likes you(^^)

Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
A: Joseph wants to say hi(Yes, Hi!)

Q: Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
A: Joseph does not need to be the best singer(still awesome)

Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
A: Joseph hates coconut(,tasty but tough to open)

Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
A: Joseph asks. "Am I God?" (Fuck yes)

Q: Type in "[your name] goes" in Google search.
A: Joseph goes on sale(taking offers ;D)

Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
A: Joseph likes to have a spoon of Nutella for dessert after lunch. (bleh)

Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
A: Joseph eats the cat(Oh noes!)

Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
A: Joseph wears a bow tie covered with dragons

Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
A: Joseph arrested for raping male-student(He gave consent.:< )